just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
