Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
youre lurking in front of me
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
