What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
