we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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