I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
