Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
