and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
