Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
