May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I think my moral compass just broke
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
