Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
