girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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