fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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