therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
