bring money and cleavage
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
