Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
