just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
