Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Come share oat with me in your robe
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
