This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
