So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Randomize
