I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
