she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
