Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
