To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
