Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
