Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
