Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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