So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
That accounts for only three of the penises
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
