Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
40s are totally the cure
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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