This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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