I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
