Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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