Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
