My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I need to calm my uterus...
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
