im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
