shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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