S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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