how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
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