Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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