I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
