a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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