I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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