My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
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