if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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