She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
