Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
