Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
