I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
