8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
