Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
