I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
