I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
i drank out of a bidet.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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