Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
