Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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