Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
