You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
