Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
