Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
